"Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and have a scratch for every itch"
Alice Roosevelt Longworth
After my emotional day/evening I was glad to go to sleep last night. I was therefore annoyed to be wakened during the night with an insatiable itch around my mastectomy scar. It was an itch which came from the inside and just couldn't be scratched. I ended up getting out of bed and going downstairs for a while. This left me pretty tired this morning but it got me thinking.
My emotions yesterday were an itch which needed to be scratched, but like my scar tissue they were hard to access. I realised that we all need to cry sometimes. It is naturally healing and it soothes. I haven't done too much crying of late. I quit alcohol completely some time ago. This has given me wonderful health benefits of that there is no doubt. However I suppose like for many, alcohol loosened my inhibitions and sometimes allowed me to cry. To be fair it was making me cry far too much in the end but it had been a release at times. I needed a little cry today. I have listened to some of my favourite songs both happy and a bit sad and I have shed a few tears. It felt good. It was a release. I didn't wallow or get carried away with it. I just allowed some of my emotions to be released through tears. I scratched the itch. We cant change what is happening to us when living with cancer and sometimes we wont feel like smiling through it. It's ok to give in to this, in fact it's necessary. I'm now ready for a walk in the park with Oscar. Its a gorgeous day and I'm looking forward to basking in what remains of the summer sunshine without worrying too much about its imminent departure.
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